So what's up with vanilla these days?

I run to the grocer (I like the way "grocer" sounds versus grocery store) this evening to pick up my late night dess-rett (pet name my wife and I have for dessert). So I pick up an old classic, a Pepperidge Farm Golden 3-Layer Cake sculpted with 3 waves of chocolate frosting which envelope the whole golden creation. It's cake-making at its decadent best. I plagiarized that off the box which I am sure you want a piece after reading... Well you can't have your cake without ice cream and of course what's a chocolate frosting envelope without vanilla. Next came the epitome of what makes America so successful, choices... I had to choose between 5 varieties of vanilla. I didn't even know there are 5 varieties of vanilla. I thought vanilla was like vanilla. I mean when someone is talking about something boring or uninteresting, they say "that's so vanilla"... Well now you can't even have boring vanilla without being extra boring... There was the old classic which I assumed there would be Vanilla, then Double Vanilla, and Vanilla Bean, French Vanilla and lastly Double Vanilla (this one I definitely don't understand). So I go with the one that seems like it would taste the best, Vanilla Bean. I really have no idea, I am only guessing the word bean implies some true natural flavor that will burst upon reaching my taste buds.

I get home and open my Pepperidge Farm Golden 3-Layer Cake sculpted with 3 waves of chocolate frosting which envelope the whole golden creation and plop 3 huge spoonfuls of vanilla bean ice cream in a metal bowl. Don't ask why a metal bowl, I would like to say it makes the ice cream taste better because it absorbs the cold chill or something scientific, however the true reason is another blog post and more related to the Christmas dishware now over taking our kitchen. So anyway, it all was just so vanilla... my taste buds didn't explode and I wish I would have gotten the double vanilla, maybe I would then see things more clearly...